Hey Woman: The Story Behind Caregiver Conversations and the Lessons Nana Left Behind
By: Hey Woman Podcast | Episode 1: Hey Woman
Every Caregiving Journey Begins With a Person
Every caregiving journey begins with a person—not a diagnosis, care plan, or legal document.
For Julie and Cortney, that person was Carol H. Armstrong, known lovingly as Nana, Nan, Mom, and “Hey Woman.” In the first episode of the Hey Woman podcast, they share the story of the woman whose life, caregiving journey, and legacy inspired the podcast.
This episode is more than a tribute. It’s a reminder that caregiving can be exhausting and beautiful, grief often appears in ordinary moments, and the people we care for remain so much more than their medical needs.
“To be prepared for it on an intellectual level and then to actually see it happen really are two different things.”
Meet the Woman Behind the Podcast
To Cortney, Nana was the grandmother who taught life lessons through everyday moments.
She taught:
- Table manners
- How to pour a beer into a frosty mug
- The importance of showing up for family
- How to care for a home and the people in it
She never missed important milestones and always found ways to show love, whether through homemade soup, fresh laundry, stocked Oreos, or creating what the family calls a “Nana Day”—a day dedicated to comfort, connection, and feeling cared for.
The Caregiver Takeaway
When someone becomes ill, it’s easy to focus only on their health challenges. But meaningful caregiving starts by remembering who they are beyond their diagnosis.
Even the Experts Struggle
Julie has spent her career helping families navigate elder law, estate planning, long-term care, and end-of-life decisions.
Yet when her own mother needed care, the experience felt completely different.
Knowing what to expect did not make it easier.
Many caregivers assume they should be able to handle everything because they’re organized, informed, or experienced. This episode offers reassurance:
Feeling overwhelmed does not mean you’re failing.
The Reality of Being an Out-of-Town Caregiver
While Nana lived in Pennsylvania, Cortney lived in Boston.
Like many adult children caring from a distance, she often wondered:
“Did I do enough?”
Julie offered a powerful perspective.
Although Cortney wasn’t physically present every day, she provided something equally important: emotional support for the primary caregiver.
Caregiving doesn’t always look like:
- Driving to appointments
- Managing medications
- Providing hands-on care
Sometimes it looks like:
- Answering the phone
- Listening without judgment
- Helping another caregiver recharge
- Managing tasks from a distance
Honoring Personality During Caregiving
One of the most memorable stories from the episode involves Nana trying to get out of bed at 2:00 a.m. during her final week.
Even when seriously ill, she still wanted to get up and get moving.
Julie realized something important:
Sometimes caregiving becomes easier when we stop fighting who a person has always been.
Rather than trying to change lifelong habits and preferences, families can honor them.
Practical Ways to Preserve Identity
- Talk about topics they have always loved.
- Continue favorite routines when possible.
- Adapt favorite activities rather than eliminating them.
- Respect the preferences that make them who they are.
Caregiving is not only about meeting physical needs.
It’s also about preserving dignity, identity, and connection.
Five Life Lessons Nana Left Behind
1. Move Purposefully Through Life
Nana often reminded her family to move carefully through a house full of treasured keepsakes.
The deeper lesson?
Move with intention and leave things better than you found them.
2. Stay Connected to the World
Whether it was the weather forecast or current events, Nana wanted to know what was happening around her.
For caregivers, familiar conversations can help loved ones remain connected to their identity and interests.
3. Connection Can Come in Unexpected Forms
Shopping wasn’t just shopping—it was connection.
Even when in-person trips were no longer possible, online orders, holiday gifts, and seasonal traditions created meaningful moments together.
4. Small Tasks Can Be Grounding
Cleaning and organizing gave Nana a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Every caregiver needs something that helps them reset and feel productive when life feels overwhelming.
5. It’s Okay to Take a “Nana Day”
Movies.
Ginger ale.
Comfort food.
A favorite blanket.
Permission to rest.
Caregivers often feel guilty about taking time for themselves, but recovery is not selfish—it’s necessary.
What Caregivers Can Do Today
✅ Identify one routine that matters to your loved one and find a way to preserve it.
✅ Ask the primary caregiver what support would actually help this week.
✅ Schedule your own version of a “Nana Day.”
✅ Start honest conversations about the emotional, physical, and financial realities of caregiving.
Listen & Learn More
Listen to the Hey Woman podcast for more real-life caregiving stories, practical advice, and family-centered guidance.
Visit Planning & Protecting for free caregiving resources, educational tools, and support from elder law and estate planning professionals.